What's Cooking?

With Yardley just a week away, I figure I better do some work this weekend on that one dish with which we've struggled - BRISKET! So, Saturday afternoon I'll fire up the Big Green Egg with enough wood to last 16-20 hours, and see if I can turn this dead cow into something juicy and tender.



I'll bring the results over to our leader's house on Sunday. If it passes the test, we'll enjoy it. If not, we'll call Dominos.

Have a good weekend, all!

7 of 9....We didn't assimilate.

Well folks, despite being sober, we arrived at Keansburg right on time. We were well prepared. Landi made the worlds best Bloodymarys, and I build a fire of pure hickory. We used only the best stuff. Grey Goose Vodka, Major Peters Hot and Spicy Bloodymary mix, tobasco, and pepper ground in a $90 pepper grinder. ( It really does grind pepper better.)The wood we used was the finest, too. It was virgin hickory. Never climbed by a squirrel and no dog ever peed on these trees. It was well aged...two seasons..football and baseball.

The dead pig and yardbird were hand picked by trained pig and chicken wranglers just for this event. The pig had what has been determined by the Pig Association (Pig-Ass) as the perfect ratio of lean to fat. The chicken had led a pampered life, massaged daily with beer on a gourmet chicken ranch in Arkansas. This particular type of incredibly tender and flavorful chicken is known world wide as 'Kobe Chicken'. I think it's named for a basketball player.

It seemed that the sun and moon had aligned just for us. Karma was with us....we thought.

The fire started with little effort. This is always a bad sign. The ribs, still frozen, were thawed in the smoker. When they thawed, they prep'ed with little trouble. Same was true of the yardbird. Everything was going great, which obviously caused me great concern. I was deeply troubled by the chain of good fortune we had encountrered. If this trend continued, we would have zero chance at trophies.

Feeling the mounting pressure, I felt it was necessary and prudent to switch from bloodymary's to bourbon. I checked my watch and saw that it was almot 11:00am. I was concerned that I may have waited too long for the switch. My smoker went to 225 degrees, the perfect barbequing temperature, and stayed there with little effort. I felt panic setting in.

I took a moment to fix another bourbon and water, collect my thoughts and to pose underneat our Memphis Barbeque Company Team banner, holding in my hand our Utilikilts banner. I'm hoping for a larger banner later this season. I'm hoping for a larger bottle of bourbon, too.

Two hours in, it was looking grim. Everything was going perfectly. Zero problems. Three hours in someone brought us free ice because they observed that we were running low.

Oh damn! A random act of kindness.

A wave of sadness swept over me and I realized it was all over.


We continued the next hour, and worked hard in presenting the ribs, the chicken and the barbequed shirmp, but I knew in my heart, that the die had already been cast.
Landi's magical presentation of ribs, would fall on blind eyes. The wonder of real Memphis Dry Rubbed Ribs would be appreciated by many, but alas, we were doomed to be Seven of Nine.




Some might be let down by not placing higher. Others might be discouraged. Sometimes our competitive zeal gets the better of us. But not this day. We made some great barbeque, saw some wonderful friends, met some new and strange people, and had a hell of a good time. Though we will never assimilate (use that surgary barbeque sauce), we look forward to Yardly and the knowledge that it is yet another opportunity to spread the gospel of the Memphis Dry Rub! Can i get an 'amen'!?

So, friends and neighbors, get your Utilikilts ready. The world's only Utilikilted Award Winning High Performance Memphis Dry Rubbed Barbeque Team is going to Yardly, Pa. to smoke butts and take names!!

Again, if you're on the team, touch base with Landi. If you're not on the team, bring bourbon (Knob Creek or Makers Mark).

Barbeque Preparedness 101

This Saturday morning, at 6:30AM, we'll pull our 18ft. Custom built Barbeque Smoker from it's winter quarters to it's first competition of the 2008 season. Prior to that moment, we'll load the wood, load the canopy, load the coolers, get the ribs, get the chicken, and stock up on bourbon. Before that, we'll pull the wheels, lube the bearings, and check the lights.

We're two days away from Saturday.

Do we have any of this done?

We have the bourbon.

Don't try this at home. We are professionals.

Mother's Day

Belated Happy Mother's Day to all.

How appropriate that Mother's Day began with us discovering that the Canadian Goose nesting on the pond became a proud mama. This is about as close as I could get before the proud - and very protective - papa would come to their defense.



A short time later, another birth! I pulled these two puppies off the Big Green Egg following a 15-hour smoke. Yum! Mom and some of my family were coming over later for a picnic, and these would feed many, along with some tasty ribs.



My brother, Greg, loves barbecue. I think he's also fallen in love with my BGE. Fortunately, I caught him before he loaded it in his car.



I hope you all had nice Mother's Day!

Dad, Jenn, and a Barbeque Contest

First, Let's all sing Happy Birthday to my oldest Daughter, who happens to graduate from college this week, and to my Dad, who shares the birthday and graduated to the next level about 8 years ago.

Now, on to Barbeque!

On Saturday May 17, 2008 Keansburg Fire Company # 1 is hosting the inaugural “Smoke Condition” BBQ cook-off. Categories are ribs, chicken, and anything but desert. Prizes for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd in each category as well as Overall Champ and reserve champ.

Check in time is 7:00 a.m., meat inspection is 7:30 a.m. Judging begins at 1:00p.m for Chicken 2:00 p.m. for Ribs and 3:00p.m. For everything but dessert. Awards at 4:30.

Yes, it's true. The kilted wild men will be there, and you should join us. It will be a lot of fun, and a good way to start the season.

If you're on the team, check in with Landi. If you're not on the team, bring bourbon.

Smoke in the morning

In the early morning hours, as the dew settles, and the smoke hangs low, it has occured to me more than once that this is as good as it gets. There is nothing that complements the shear beauty of dawn quite as well as a good Kentucky bourbon and the smells and aromas of hickory smoke and barbeque.

As our 2008 BBQ Season begins, we are ready for some intense barbeque competition.

We may not win a lot of contests, but we've never lost a party.

Let the blogging begin!

The Memphis Barbecue Company and friends have hit the internet!