The Third Garage Sale

We had visited two garage sales before she whispered "Over here".  On a table covered with someone's memories, sat two old seltzer bottles.  They were like the ones the Three Stooges used to spray each other with.  Their significance long forgotten, they had rested quietly on someone's shelf for years until today when they found themselves sitting on a table in the sunshine of an April Saturday.   She saw them first.

I heard him say "Jackie, What in the hell are you going to do with a couple of damned old bottles?"  He never liked that kind of stuff.

She looked carefully at the bottles, checking the markings on the bottom, and the almost invisible seams up the sides.  She read the etching on the sides of the bottles.  One was from the Bronx, but the other was from Philly.  She looked closely at the pump mechanism, and worked the levers up and down a couple of time.

"Just more damn junk", he said shaking his head and looking up at the new leaves of yet another spring.

Finally, she looked at the little old lady, and said "How much?"

"Two dollars"

"I'll take them.", I said, and I realized just how much I miss Mom and Dad.

Computers, Apes and Barbeque. It Must Be Summer!

I arrived at the Sabatelli household at 8:30AM last Saturday and the barbeque season officially opened about thirty minutes later when bourbon first splashed onto the ice in my dixie cup.  Roughly 40 lbs of ribs and 40 lbs of yard bird accompanied by Cajun Green Beans and barbequed bean helped a crowd of about 40 celebrate the christening of the youngest of the Sabatelli clan.

Doing barbeques like this are fun because you get a chance to visit with interesting people.  Most are friendly and eager to visit, especially about barbeque.  After quaffing a few cocktails, invarriably questions arise as to exactly how a redneck like me got into barbequing in New Jersey.  In most cases, I am on my own, and can pretty much keep the story telling to the fun side of insane, but not this day.  This day veered off into the "You gotta be kidding me." side of insane. 

There is a guy named Karounos.  I used to work with him in one of the sewers of hell.  Interesting thing about this sewer, I met and worked with the finest, most incredible group of techo-nuts in the world.  In a company run by a world class lunatic, these guys accomplished the impossible in a circus atmosphere.  At any moment, a nurf gun war could suddenly break out, or Lockwood would stroll to the front of the Zoo isle, and fling a baseball, yep a real baseball, at Sabs.  Of course Sabs would take great offense at being suddenly hit with a baseball, but Lockwood would say loudly "Shut up!  Take your base!", and walk off.

Just to set your expectations, once, while being led by an apparetnly reasonable and sane Captain America, better known as Vida, the entire group was asked to leave a funeral.  They had not misbehaved in any way, but the daughter of the deceased thought it was the better part of discretion to kick them out.  I would call it a precautionary expulsion.

So Karounos is at the party, has a couple of beers and starts telling stories about our time in the sewer, and things that were learned there.   My favorite is the story about why you should always hire professional movers to move expensive servers.  When I say "expensive", I'm talking hundreds of thousands of dollars expensive.  The reason for this is that Information Technology professionals like Karounos, Mr. Frank and I can not tell a hard shifting transmission in a top heavy box truck hauling a half million dollar computer being driven in stop and go traffic by a crazed Greek from a half million dollar computer sliding around and slamming into the walls in the back of the box truck being driven in stop and go traffic by a crazed Greek.  Let's just say it worked a lot better before we moved it.

I was disappointed that the Naked Ape wasn't at the party.  The Ape's favorite game is 'naked stick'.  After drinking a keg or so of beer, the Ape has been known to strip naked and run through neighborhoods.   We call him the Naked Ape because he is the most muscled up human being any of us have ever seen.  In that Sabitelli recently purchased this home, and all the neighbors I met were very nice, I suspect I know why the Naked Ape wasn't there.  I'll bet he doesn't even have the address.

So, the summer has begun, and The Memphis Barbeque Company is back in action.  Right now, the only competition we plan on participating in is the Mount Bethel Barbeque Contest in Warren NJ, on June 9.  The event at Sab's house was not a kilted event (women can get out of hand), but the contest at the firehouse will be.

Also, we are cooking every Wednesday at KC's Korner in South Plainfield.  So, get sober enough to drive, and come on by.

Remember, it's amazing what you can do with a dead pig.