A Brown Dog Democrat

My dog, Dixie…excuse me..Svatchime is rapidly becoming a nuisance. This morning, even before I had coffee, she pounced on me with a political discussion.

“Donald Trump must leave the race”, she solemnly intoned as she executed a very aggressive crotch sniff.

“What?”, I asked.

 “Donald Trump simply must get out of the primary race. He insulted a war hero, and frankly, I am offended” She said as she raised her head a little, and sniffed the air a bit. “I smell bacon”, she added.

“You’re going to jump off the Trump bandwagon because he talked disrespected Senator McCain?” I asked incredulously.

“I have never supported Donald Trump, and what in the hell does Senior McCain have to do with it? Is it the Mexican thing again?” she hissed. Again she sniffed the air, “Someone is cooking bacon.”

I didn’t even know dogs could hiss. “What do you mean you never supported him? If you didn’t like him in the first place, why are you saying that he must drop out? Why do you care?” I asked, somewhat stunned.

“Trump is a money grubbing capitalist real estate mogul. He represents everything that is wrong with this country. He glorifies and personifies greed. He offends me on so many levels. He is a duopolistic liar. He has made millions on dirty little backroom deals with foreign despots all across the world. He is an privileged autocratic monster with absolutely no empathy for the common man. He seems to be politically tone deaf, and has zero in the way of political accomplishments” , Svatchime explained just before she began attending to a urgent personal hygienic matter.

No one can sound quite as smug and condescending as a chocolate Labrador who has recently acquired the gift of speech.

“So, just so I understand….You say Donald Trump is a man you have never supported, and whom you say personifies everything you are against. You say he must withdraw from the primary race because he said something that offended you? Have I got that right?, I asked.

“Yes. Do I smell bacon?”, came the reply.

“So, your position is that any politician with whom you have disagreements should not be running for office”

“Finally, you get it! We simply cannot have a cold, soulless, ego-maniacal power freak running the country.” Svatchime said.

“So”, I asked, “Who are you supporting?”

“Hillary”