In the begining, he was a lonely gnome with little in the way of outside interests. Over coffee with a friend one morning, he hatched a daring plot. While all his friends were consigned to a sedentary, pedestrian life in flower gardens he yearned for something more, something exciting. But what? What else is there in the life of garden gnome other than gophers, bird crap, and petunias?
Suddenly, he had a thought....
Waldo, the gnome, hitched a ride out of New Jersey. Anywhere, he thought, would be better than a garden in New Jersey...but he was wrong. As he sat on the engine of the sunken Cessna, he thought to himself, "Well, now it can't get any worse."
And, once again, he was wrong. Waldo found himself sitting in a sunken boat 65 feet below the cold waters of a Pennslyvania rock quarry. For months, divers from all over the North East traveled to Dutch Springs to see the Waldo the roaming gnome of Dutch springs. Many divers took Waldo to see the many attractions that have been placed in the quarry, but none would remove him from his watery prison. Finally, Waldo disappeared. For weeks, no one reported seeing him. Numerous dives were made to search for the gnome, but all failed. Hope for finding Waldo was fading, and then the Jazz man arrived.
Some men aspire to greatness. Others have it thrust upon them, and this man found it 60 feet beneath the surface. While peering into the bottom of the engine cowling of Helldiver sunk in the quarry, he saw the waving arms and heard the faint cries of Waldo as he frantically signalled for help. Rescued at last!
But, Waldo still felt all alone. After months beneath the waters of the quarry, he felt like something was missing from his life. He left the quarry, and retired to the Jersey Shore for some sea food, but still something was missing. Something just wasn't right. It haunted him, night and day, a profound emptiness.
One day, from across the bar a trio of lovely ladies spied the lonly gnonme drinking alone and cautiously approached him. "Are you", they shyly asked, "The Roaming Gnome of Dutch Springs?"
Suddenly he knew what he had been longing for. He knew what had been missing from his life. Women! For the rest of the night, the trio of lovelies and Waldo sang and danced and laughed! Life was good again. It just couldn't get any better than this! Waldo likes the ladies!
Waldo, had a bad feeling. Things were going to well. A familiar hand grasped him, and lifted him away. He had a gloomy sense of deja vu.
Have you ever heard a gnome cuss?
In the begining, he was a lonely gnome with little in the way of outside interests. Over coffee with a friend one morning, he hatched a daring plot. While all his friends were consigned to a sedentary, pedestrian life in flower gardens he yearned for something more, something exciting. But what? What else is there in the life of garden gnome other than gophers, bird crap, and petunias?
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