Sunshine Reigns in Hillsborough

Dateline: Neptune

Eleven intrepid barbequers are high and dry in the parking lot of the Woods Road Fire House. Four kegs of beer sits on ice in the fire house. We managed to get our Rubic's Tent erected before the sunshine began to fall.

Got to go.

The March of the Kilted Madmen

On Saturday, June 20th, a day that will live in infamy, the Central Jersey Firemen's Cook-off will be held at the Fire House in Hillsborough. All members of the the Memphis Barbque Company and The Dead Cow Society will remember that this is a major fun event. It will start with Meat Inspection at about 7:00AM, and end sometime around 4:00pm. In between those hours, there will be music and a lot of fun.

We've done well here in the past, taking 3rd for ribs, and second for chicken....or vice versa.

So, sober up and try to make it to the event. If the past is any guide, it will be a lot of fun.

The Pig Flu

Though some of us may be late, I believe that it is of the utmost importance that the Dead Cow Society gather immediately to discuss the latest assault on our carnivours activity. Not too many years ago, you will remember, lying bastards were warning us about 'Mad Cow' disease. What they failed to tell us was that they were actually trying to warn the world about one of my xwives. Now we are being bombarded with information about something called 'the Pig Flu'. Again, we are being mislead.

The whole uproar is the result of an argument about baseball in Mexico City brothel.

My brother was there. What he said happened was that the piano player, apparently an older gentleman with a touch of Atlizhimers, was talking baseball with some visiting politicians, and the piano player said that pigs would fly when Boston won the Series.

At this point, a Boston fan who was employed at the brothel, blew beer our her nose, and screamed at the piano player "They've won twice in the last 5 years, you moron!", everyone laughted. The piano player, being somewhat hard of hearing, missed what was said and asked the bar tender what was going on..and the bartender say...'nothing, but I think the pig flew"

So, thursday, 6:30 at the Outback on 22. Help us help ourselves to dead cow and liquor.

oh..yeah..Boston sucks.

Sacrifice and Penitence

With Mardi Gras and Ash Wednesday behind us, each of us must now contend with our own forty days of sacrifice and penitence. Forty days...and nights. Just two days less than six weeks. Not much time, when you think about it. It's time to reflect, to turn inward a bit and examine ourselves.

I do this every year. On Ash Wednesday, I get up early, and look at the world around me. If I'm not in a jail cell in New Orleans, then we're off to a good start. Next, I look at myself closely in the mirror. If I don't find a wound or a new tattoo somewhere, the day is starting to look good.

After a cup of coffee, and the haze of morning has been somewhat lifted, I consider what I have given up for Lent. Some years, the sacrifice is more difficult than others. Once, not realizing that St.Patrick's Day is during Lent, I gave up cabbage. Damn.

This year, after due consideration, I've decided to give up Makers Mark. It's my current favorite bourbon. As most everyone knows, I will not drink that crap from Tennessee, and I've never been a fan of Scotch. I can no longer drink beer because it contains gluten. Since I don't have any hand guns, Tequila isn't near as much fun as it used to be.

It's going to be a long forty days and forty nights.

Thank God for Knob Creek.

It's all clear now...

Finally, the vodka kicked in. Here are our known dates....We are not firmly committed to Keansburg, but we are to Central Jersey .

May 30 - Keansburg Fire Company "Smoke Condition"

June 20 - Central Jersey Fireman's Cook-off

Now, back to work...

Correction...

Ladies, Gents, and Cory,
The date of the Central Jersey Fireman's Cook-off at Hillsborough is May 30.

I appologize for any confusion. I sent the earlier email before my first bloodymary.

The Year of the Pig

Ladies, Gentlemen, and Cory,Via the miracle of internet communications, our good friends at the Hillsborough Fire Company have made known to me their intention to once again conduct the Central Jersey Firemans Cook-off. This event will be held on July 20, at the fire house. This event will be limited to 30 teams and is a one day event.

This event has been good to us in the past. We won second place for ribs one year, and third place for yard bird another. It's close to home, and we always see old friends from past competitions, and generally have a hell of a good time. Because I have stayed out of trouble all winter long, I believe that we will have a very good year this year because I must have accumulated a lot of good karma and powerful Juju. For this reason, I anticipate winning.

We'll be registered for this event today, so mark your calendars., buy your bourbon, clean your kilt and get ready. The 2009 Edition of the Memphis Barbeque Company Competition Barbeque Team is ready to cook some barbeque. For us, this just might be the Year of the Pig!